Amelia and the Churchy Unicorn

Chapter Nine: Spark Goes to Church (and Other Sunday Chaos)

Amelia Jean Stratton was up early for once, thanks to Mom’s proclamation: “If it’s Sunday, we’re going to church. No exceptions, and that includes magical unicorns.”

“Wait, what?” Amelia had groaned from under her blanket when she first heard this announcement.

Mom had stood firm. “Spark isn’t staying home unsupervised. I don’t need another glitter bomb incident.”

Amelia peeked out from her blanket. “So… we’re bringing her?”

“Yep,” Mom said, sipping her coffee. “And she’d better behave.”

From the other side of the room, Spark, perched in her usual spot on the kitchen counter, grinned mischievously. “I’m always on my best behavior.”

“No, you’re not,” Elias muttered, walking into the kitchen.

“Not even close,” Amelia agreed.

The Church Incident(s)

By the time the family arrived at Cross of Christ Lutheran Church, Spark had promised—multiple times—that she wouldn’t draw attention to herself. To her credit, she had even shrunk to hamster size and perched in Iris’s little purse for the trip.

The sanctuary was already buzzing with conversation as the Strattons walked in. Spark peeked out of Iris’s purse, her horn glowing faintly.

“Amelia Jean,” Spark whispered, “this place is marvelous. Look at all the stained glass! It’s like a glitter party but… solemn.”

“Spark, please don’t start anything,” Amelia whispered back, sliding into the pew.

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Spark replied, though her tail swished with suspicious excitement.

The First Incident: The Offering Plate

Everything was going fine until the offering. As the plate made its way down the pew, Spark decided to “enhance” the experience.

“What are you doing?” Amelia hissed as Spark’s horn began to glow.

“Adding sparkle to their generosity,” Spark whispered back.

When the plate reached their row, it suddenly began to glow faintly and emitted a soft ding! every time someone placed money into it.

Mom’s eyes widened. “Spark!”

“It’s motivational,” Spark whispered proudly.

Dad muttered under his breath, “Adding this to the book.”

The Second Incident: The Hymn

The next catastrophe came during the hymn. As the congregation sang, Spark decided the organ could use some backup.

“Amelia,” Spark whispered, her horn glowing again, “listen to this!”

Before Amelia could stop her, Spark conjured a harp that floated above their pew, plucking itself in perfect harmony with the hymn.

Amelia grabbed Spark by the mane. “Stop it!”

“But it’s beautiful!” Spark protested.

The harp disappeared with a faint pop, but not before half the congregation had turned to stare.

Mom buried her face in her hands. “Why did I think this was a good idea?”

The Final Straw

The sermon was the last chance for peace. Spark remained quiet for the first five minutes, which lulled everyone into a false sense of security.

Then she spotted the baptismal font.

“What’s that?” Spark whispered, her tiny head poking out of Iris’s purse.

“It’s the baptismal font,” Amelia whispered back. “Where babies are baptized.”

Spark’s eyes lit up. “It looks like a fountain! Can I—”

“No,” Amelia hissed.

Spark sighed but thankfully stayed put for the rest of the service.

The Aftermath

As the family piled into the car after church, Mom turned to Spark with a look of exasperation.

“Next time, you’re staying home,” she said.

“I was on my best behavior!” Spark protested.

“You made the offering plate glow,” Mom said flatly.

Dad, jotting something in his notebook, grinned. “Great material for the book, though.”

Mom sighed. “Of course it is.”

Back to the Original Chaos

The rest of the day went about as planned—or as “planned” as any day with Spark ever went. There was the pillow fort disaster, the squirrel chase during the picnic, and, of course, Spark’s endless stream of commentary.

By dinnertime, the family was exhausted.

“Today wasn’t terrible,” Amelia admitted, plopping down on the couch after helping clean up the remains of the picnic.

“That’s high praise,” Elias muttered, brushing glitter out of his hair.

Spark hopped onto the coffee table, looking smug. “See? Life is better with me around.”

Amelia rolled her eyes but couldn’t hide her smile. “Sure, Spark. Whatever you say.”

As the house finally settled into quiet, Mom sat on the couch with her tea, and Dad added another note to his book-in-progress.

“You know,” Mom said, glancing at him, “you should call the chapter about today The Glitter Gospel.”

Dad laughed. “Noted.”

The End (or the start of Spark’s next church adventure…)

Disclosure: These prose were written with the assistance of OpenAI’s ChatGPT 4o.